The Challenge of Change

Change is upon us all, all the time. We develop certain habits and routines to assist us in the most regular of changes. These come in the form of daily calendars, bells that signal when class begins and ends, train schedules and postal delivery times and grocery lists that are based on the day of the week that the store starts its sale.

There comes the time however when we must face something that is far out of the ordinary. Illness, accidents, sudden death of loved ones and increasingly changes in our society in the form of failed business, failed governmental agencies or politicians have been taking many by surprise.

It is a fallacy to believe that we can control everything and have a completely peaceful, well planned life. Yet that is what we strive to do, to the extent that when something out of the ordinary happens we find ourselves emotionally and mentally unprepared to deal with the reality.

It is helpful to understand the stages that we all go through in times of unexpected change. In psychology these are called “The Stages of Loss”.

First there is shock, denial or numbness. We can’t believe that this is happening to us!

The second stage is fear, anger or depression. This is where we start to question the “fairness” of the situation, or the “why me?” stage.

Stage three is understanding, acceptance and then moving on. In the book Life 101 by Peter McWilliams, the author writes that, “Acceptance is not approval…agreement… support…advocating…furthering, promoting, aiding, abetting or even liking what is.”*

He concludes his thought by saying, “Acceptance is saying, ‘It is what it is, and what is is what is.’”

The sooner we can get to the third stage the sooner we get on with life. If we can change the concept from “loss” to “change”, this may assist us in getting through the stages quicker.

If we thus say the first stage is one of surprise and makes us more aware of potentials that exist outside of the “normal” way of life, we can then approach the second stage as an opportunity to take action (not reaction!) toward something new and possibly better suited to our personal desires or growth.

The third stage remains essentially the same, acceptance, but changes in the fact that we are looking forward rather than backward as we enter into it.

If we are living our lives with a high level of awareness, we will find that we may be able to see these changes coming farther in advance. Part of this means we must take responsibility for our lives and recognize our personal accountability for the results.

McWilliams also points out that accountability has three parts. The first is to acknowledge that you personally have something to do with whatever situation may be developing. If nothing else, your physical presence makes this true, but your unique energy has a great deal of effect on what is happening around you. Failure to accept your personal accountability will catch up with you energetically either through your health or through your relationships. In the metaphysical world we call this “Karma”. Proper attention to this section of accountability is crucial to a successful life.

The second stage of accountability is the potential to explore your response options. This is also called your ability to respond or response-ability. The third section is simply to take corrective action or pro-action.

It has been said that persistence is a form of courage. Calvin Coolidge is quoted as saying, “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

In all of this it is good to remember that it is a life time of good byes. It is also a lifetime of hello’s. It may be a little corny to say this but in truth there are no emergencies, only emerge and see’s. It means the difference between a lifetime of regret and a lifetime of progress and growth.

* The full quote is: “Acceptance is not approval, consent, permission, authorization, sanction, concurrence, agreement, compliance, sympathy, endorsement, confirmation, support, ratification, assistance, advocating, backing, maintaining, authenticating, reinforcing, cultivating, encouraging, furthering, promoting, aiding, abetting or even liking what is.”

© 2007
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